I was an early student of Stephen R. Covey, the life coach and self-help guru who gained prominence in the early 1990s. As a young teacher and administrator, I sought a way to make all the various pieces of my work seem coherent. Covey, in his books The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and Principle-Centered Leadership, appealed to ideas I had carried from early in my life, so it seemed natural to incorporate them into the way I taught students and led teachers.
One of those ideas is still central to much of what I do in my day-to-day retired life: private victories come before public victories. If I want to have a bestseller or grow my substack audience, before I follow all of the advice readily available to me on the internet, I need to get to my desk and write, and learn how to write well, write words that offer meaning to readers.
If I want to win the “Husband of the Year” award, I need to love my wife well, listen to her, support her, and walk with her every day through the mire and muck of our lives as we learn how to be retired. And above all, if I want my relationships to improve, I need to maintain personal integrity; I must ensure that my thoughts, words, and actions are aligned and that I am not deceiving myself or others.
This habit of not lying to myself, making sure that I do what I say I will do both privately and for others, is a central feature of my character. I hold to it imperfectly, mind you, but I am constantly aware of it, and I always seek to have my integrity grow. This podcast and essay explore my desire to see that happen, and the necessity we all have to develop integrity and keep our word.
I promise you’ll have a new essay next week. See what I did there?? I’m still working on keeping my word…
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