Counting the Cost
Faith ain't cheap...
I am very fond of “high church” liturgy and ceremony. I was raised in a Christian denomination that had, at its heart, a reliance on the sanctity of what most Christians would consider the core sacraments of the church: baptism and holy communion. While midwestern Lutheran denominations are certainly not Catholic in their understanding of sacramentalism, enormous importance is placed on baptism and communion as the acts of the faithful to first publicly announce the desire to follow Jesus Christ faithfully, and then to seek the spiritual nourishment to live the life of faithful self-denial that Jesus calls us to.
Someone very dear to me was recently baptized as an adult. While getting baptized after making a personal decision to follow Christ conforms to what the early church understood, it is something that I have not done, given my baptism as an infant. The way I suppose I would explain the difference would be that infant baptism has its validity built on the belief that these sacraments are not the work of people, but of the Holy Spirit; if the Spirit calls parents to act in faith and present their child to God, planting the spiritual seed of faith early in life, I believe that the God blesses that action, just as He blesses the faith shown in the decision of an adult to follow Him.
I also acknowledge that coming to faith as an adult carries a special weight because you have likely lived long enough to commit sins for which you find yourself repenting. You have experienced the sorrow of real guilt. You might even have lived through the shame of owning your sin and, perhaps, begging the forgiveness of someone you have cheated, hurt, or offended. Coming to Christ, fully loaded with the realization of your true state as a sinner, offending God, and your need for redemption and His salvation, gives baptism a viscerality that I cannot have for much younger, less experienced people.
Even though we may gain some self-awareness as we age, and that awareness can play a role as the Holy Spirit leads us to faith in Christ, Jesus has to constantly remind us that our sin has weight, and that weight requires us to repent. The lion’s share of statements in the New Testament about receiving salvation couple our faith with repentance. This all folds into Christ’s admonition in the 14th chapter of Luke:
Luk 14:25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them,
Luk 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
Luk 14:27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
Luk 14:28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?
Luk 14:29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,
Luk 14:30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
Luk 14:31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?
Luk 14:32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.
Luk 14:33 So therefore, anyone of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.
As we repent and come to Jesus in faith, there is a cost to claiming that faith. The cost is not in receiving our salvation from sin; Jesus has paid that debt entirely. The cost here relates to the perpetual joy of living our lives with Jesus; it means we must deny everything we find valuable in this world. Denial of self, surrender of all we are to Christ, and the placing of Him at the very top of our loves–above spouses and children and friends and money and comfort and parents and siblings–is the price we must pay if we intend to live changed, holy lives when we emerge from the waters of baptism.
I have spent most of my journey with Christ learning this truth. There is a difference between the price Jesus paid on the cross for us and the price we pay to live our lives as His disciples. Nothing we do in the way of our sacrifice means anything in terms of our salvation; as we learn the value of surrender to Jesus, we are drawn nearer to Him, and we enjoy our fellowship with Him more fully. Without giving this world away, there are too many distractions that may keep us from living in the next one.
Jesus desires us to understand what we are getting into when we accept Him. The world often acts as if Christ is a mystical puzzle that we must work through to receive the blessing of His salvation. And, the world often mistakes that blessing Christ offers for increased wealth, greater health, healings, and power–the very things we are to turn our backs on to follow Him. What God wants us to have, He will give; the point is that all that He gives is to be used for His kingdom and glory.
As we count the cost of our discipleship in Jesus, we abandon the notions of “self-esteem” and “influence” that our culture tells us are the measuring sticks of success. I want my children and grandchildren to see the paradox of following Jesus and to claim it for themselves. As we surrender our lives, we are given a greater one. When we go under the waters of baptism, we emerge not only washed from our sins but into a new life. See that life for what it is. Count the cost. Give your life away, and take all that Jesus wants to give you.