10 Loves: God

I'm starting the year by taking stock of things I love. This is number one...

I love to read (more on this later). I read lots of books, I read poetry, and I read essays written by people who think. Reading is an opportunity to peer into another person’s mind, and if you’re lucky, a bit of their soul.

Substack is a reader’s paradise; there are many, many authors here who are thoughtful and brave. I find that, while they are seeking truth, many authors focus on the external world. Politics, economics, and “how to make your substack more profitable” are topics that fill my inbox. While these are interesting to some people, I think they are less meaningful than when a writer looks inward for subject matter. If you feel something is important or really excites you and you set out to tell me why, you’ve got me by the eyeballs.

We live in a time of turmoil, and I will be the first to admit that writing about the turmoil in which we are awash is tempting; I’m sure that trying to write hot takes about the President or the latest swing of the market is enticing and, certainly, more profitable than exploring one’s own thoughts or heart. Even so, the most meaningful writing stems from, I think, working out one’s place in the world and coming to terms with our humanity in the face of forces that try to strip that humanity from us.

I am running a few minutes late; my previous meeting is running over.

Which is why I choose to begin the year considering what I love. I do so in the hope that my readers will articulate for themselves the loves that compel them to live fuller lives. I want to know what draws their attention away from the chaos and conflict we find ourselves surrounded by.

While I don’t want to make these ten loves of mine a prioritized list, the truth is that there is a priority that is inherent, at least at the top of the list, at least for me. The first few loves that come to my mind are foundational to my life. While these people (the most important loves I have are persons) are where I exercise love, they are also where I learn how to love.

For the sake of clarity, a definition is in order: love, as I see it, is the willful surrender of selfishness–one’s desires–for the sake of another. This definition stems directly from my relationship with the first person on the list–God. This also underscores the importance of choosing well from whom we learn to love. Human beings function in three spheres: emotion, choice, and intellect. We are easily, perhaps too much so, persuaded by our feelings, especially as we understand love.

If we understand love to be a choice we exercise rather than simply a surge of positive emotion, it is reasonable to ask why we might choose to love someone or something. With God, my choice to love Him boils down to the fact that He loved me first. I suppose you can blame the Norm of Reciprocity: God did something nice for me, so now I feel an obligation to do something for Him. The issue is that the love of God is so all-encompassing and eternal that, even on my very best day, I will never be able to match it. And in the face of my utter inability to match His love, He promises to continue to love me. It is this promise, to love me even when I don’t, or can’t, love Him, that persuades me that He is worthy of receiving all I can give.

Then there is the problem of the space that develops between friends and lovers in such an uneven dynamic. Unless relationships are tended, even the best tend to drift apart when one participant is constant, and the other is, well, less so. And, of course, there is the additional complication of the inherent power imbalance between creator and created, King and subject, omnipotent ruler and powerless serf. I am left awed that such an all-powerful being would find it possible to love me, let alone choose to. That amazement stems from my own insufficiency to love. I am bumfuzzled.

The underlying truth is that any meaningful relationship must begin with God. Human relationships, based solely on what we find attractive in others, are doomed to fail. All that we possess here, our charms, intellect, and beauty? They fade and die, more quickly than we can anticipate. Often, their collapse is far more spectacular than any benefit we might have gleaned while being charming, bright, and beautiful.

God’s attributes are eternal, certain, and good. This means that if He proclaims His love for us and gives us a clear path to accept it in His Son, we have guarantees that no human can provide. The ability to live in that certainty is why I cling to my belief in Jesus. Not only do I have God’s own revelation in His word, but I have the lived reality of His love for me. That’s all I need.